Rumors Of My Internet Death Have Been Greatly Exagerated: A Welcome to New Readers.

So recently my esteemed blogging colleague Zoe over at idiotnerdgirl.wordpress.com(Seriously guys check her out. She is the Obi-Wan Kenobi to this blog’s Luke Skywalker, only she’d have beaten Vader’s asthmatic ass in two rounds) pointed out two things: One, that I had broken sacred blogging law and not posted an introductory welcome to the blog post, and two my lazy nerd posterior had not written an article in almost a month. I aim to address both these claims today.

So first a welcome.

I started this blog with the aim of talking about things I care about in a humorous manner, mainly because I’m funny, and I really love pop culture. Media to me is one of humanities greatest accomplishments, falling just behind Chipotle burritos, and coming ahead of the invention of electricity.

“Gaze upon this mighty work ye gods and despair!”-Percy Bysshe Shelley, at some point, probably.

Media is a wonderful thing because it is universal. You can take a movie, any movie, and show it to a man in the slums of Mumbai, or a penthouse in Vegas, and they could have the same reaction. Or, even better, they get two different meanings out of it. Stories, and how we tell them, have fascinated me as a child, and whether they are told in comics, movies, TV shows or books, I’m a sucker for a good story with a solid ending.

I’m currently a broke college student, training to be a broke college graduate, who will then use his training to be a broke college graduate director. In the fall I’ll be attending Temple University, after an interesting year at my local community college(A story for another day), after previously attending Hampton University before that(It’s a really long story). There I will be studying film and media arts, in the hopes of one day making your favorite television shows.

The blogs title has come from the fact that for the majority of my life, I have been the Token Black Guy wherever I go, the exception being Hampton U, for that is an all black college. You know this trope. You know it well. The Token Black guy is that one obligatory black character in every show, tossed in their for the sake of diversity and given either one of two personalities, lame nerd or wise black savant, hip to all the styles and trends of his day.

I am neither of those men. My fashion sense ranks somewhere between Napoleon(That’s Dynamite not Bonaparte) and Crazy Quilt, and I take being compared to Urkel as grounds for a duel. What I’m saying is, I’m very much not the mold as far as Hollywood is concerned. And that’s the point. This blog is very much dedicated to the more fringe idea of things; ideas you might not have thought of, but are still worth talking about. I intend for my writings to be much like Bane’s first confrontation with Batman, brilliantly planned and spine breaking. You may not like some of them. You may not understand say, my violent hatred of Tony Stark. But that’s the great thing about media and pop culture. We can have these discussions, and they’re still fun. Because what I see in one story, you may not.

So strap in, cuz it’s gonna be one dilly dallly of a slobber knocker.

I will make that a thing. This I swear.

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club

-The Token Black Guy

If You Strike Me Down, I Shall Become More Powerful than You Can Possibly Imagine: My Thoughts On Loosing the Star Wars Cannon

Last  Friday I sensed a disturbance in the force, as if a million fans cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I rushed to the internet, and found that the Star Wars Extended Universe(the EU to all you normal people) was no more. LucasArts has stated that for the sake of cohesion that anything not related to the six original movies and the animated show Star Wars: The Clone Wars is not cannon.

I admit, when I first heard the news I was crushed. Star Wars has been an integral part of my life since my mom brought home the first three movies in that 20^th anniversary VHS box set.(Remember VHS tapes? Those things are relic of a bygone age). I watched those movies religiously. They were my first real exposure to ideas like good and evil, noble heroes, redemption, strong story telling and character development. When I turned ten I began reading the books. I dedicated my life to learning everything about this universe. I can name all seven lightsaber forms(Shi-Cho, Ataru, Vaapad, Soresu, Djem So, Niman and Makashi.). I can quote A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back almost verbatim. As I write this story there is a Lego X-Wing sitting over my shoulder. I built it last summer. So when I say that if you cut my body I’d bleed Bantha milk, you’d best take me seriously. I dedicated over ten years of my life to this universe, and just like that it was gone. I mean what was the point?

You mean I didn’t have to play this awful game?

But then I started to think about it. The Extended Universe is over thirty years old. It started right after episode four, and just kept on rolling. Some of the stories it produced are great(Offhand, Knights of the Old Republic, the Thrawn Trilogy, New Jedi Order) But some of the stuff is bad. Like Jedi Academy. Some of it contradicts itself. Like any franchise that’s gone on this long, it’s prone to rot in some areas. Even the much beloved Thrawn trilogy is suffers from this, as it was made before the prequel trilogy and thus its depiction of the Clone Wars is wrong. Granted, the idea of the Republic fighting clones does sound cool, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are elements of the story that suffer from that.

I can already feel the anger I’m going to get for this, burning into me like Thrawn’s blood eyes.

If LucasArts is striking cannon for the sake of keeping their universe together, I think it’s worth a shot to see what we get. The Clone Wars was a surprisingly good show, managing to hit on all aspects of the war, give character development to a group of clone troopers(Not just Rex), introduce a well written and fun sidekick and, most amazing of all, make Anakin likable.

 

I know! I’m just as surprised as you guys are!

Starting the cannon over means they can keep things consistent now. They know what they want to do doing going forward, and they can keep the universe together. And, think about it this way now. Chewbacca isn’t dead anymore!

CHEWIE LIVES! JUST THIS ONCE ROSE, CHEWIE LIVES!

I think the important thing to take away is they’re doing this for the story. They’re trying to make the best possible story they can, and if that means striking cannon, I guess that’s what they have to do. It’s hard to say if this is a good idea yet, seeing as Episode VII won’t hit theaters till next winter. But I think there are some benefits to this. Striking cannon means a fresh start, new stories where I don’t know the outcome. They can explore new avenues, new ideas. It means that fans as well as newcomers don’t know what’s going to happen. This prospect delights me. One of my major issues with the old cannon is that at a certain point(around the end of New Jedi Order) the stories continued to prominently feature Han, Luke and Leia, but those characters didn’t grow. Han still acted like he did in Return of the Jedi, all gung ho despite pushing seventy, and Luke just became bland with old age. Leia was spared a little, but the whole trio just felt tired, yet they continued to play pivotal roles in the series. Hell, half of the last book series(Fate of the Jedi) centered around Luke and his son fighting Sith. Again. Because isn’t it always Sith?

Rule of Two my butt!

This could really be the start of something great. A rebirth for the series. A chance to finally send of the original trio and finally, once and for all, shift the focus from the original trio to a new generation. And speaking of new fans, it’s a chance for them to come in and not be intimidated by the thirty years of continuity. Fans who could come to see this new trilogy like I did, all those years ago, running around my backyard with a toy lightsaber because I wanted to be Luke Skywalker.

It was mostly because of that sweet golden hair

We will always have the old stories. They will always be there, and no amount of cannon striking will take that away from us. Reading them wasn’t pointless, because the messages were still worthwhile. They were still tales of friendship, and honor, of triumph and heartbreak(Except Jedi Academy. That was about Dala’s inability to command Star Destroyers). Those will always be a part of us, we who dedicated ourselves to reading them like the giant fans(read: nerds) we are. Striking cannon does not mean those stories are not valid. They are valid. They always will be valid. What this means is that this new trilogy will explore something new, something we haven’t seen before. The idea of going into a Star Wars movie and not knowing what to expect gives me this sense of excitement I haven’t felt since I was a kid. I truly believe that this will prove to be a good thing. In the end, It all comes down to the story we get. If the story is good, and preserves the spirit of the movies that came before it, I’ll get over the loss of cannon. At the end of the day, I’ll be in the theaters the night of the premier, waiting for that title crawl to come up, and once again visit that galaxy from a long time ago, that was oh so far away.